So I am sitting in bed. It is late. I have something important to do tomorrow. My cell phone has no service whatsoever. Tower must be down. No reports of outage online. I try to contact Verizon the serviceless provider. They want me to phone…ok, they want to text…well if they used Signal that would be possible…I am trying to use chat thru their website because it is the only option I have by using my home internet but they insist on contacting me in ways that do not work…and they keep wanting to run their stupid little checklist of things to do when someone’s phone is not working properly…I am going to sleep. Hope I don’t need an ambulance for the stroke I am going to have…
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@sheralmyst, how close are you to Little Rock? Hope you’re OK.
I’m having visions of your house, twirling around in the sky - “We’re not in Arkansas any more, Toto”.
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I am an hour south but local news zoomed in right where I live…possible tornado had just passed by. I was in the basement. This is how I have spent the last 3 Fridays…I am ready for a break.
Little Rock was hit really hard. Made national news.
Thanks for asking 
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Made international news. I just read about it on BBC.
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Tornadoes from Texas to Chicago, Illinois. Massive outbreak. It has been a few years since there was one this bad. Will be lots of devastation by morning.
Here is a map.
Red- rotation, possible tornado
Yellow- thunderstorm capable of producing hail and damaging winds
Green- flooding
Purple- lake wind advisory (I think)
And it is not over. Has moved East and continues to be PDS (particularly dangerous storm)
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I mean, it’s possible you guys over there developed a very special kind of dark humor regarding things like this, but to me it feels like this has ended up in a very wrong thread… 
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Well, I can either laugh or be terrified. I do tend to treat this thread as both literal and sarcastic.
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Meanwhile, back on the ranch, it’s raining beef. I suspect increased manure storage is to blame. Methane. It’s a gas. 
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“the incident is the deadliest fire involving cows in nearly a decade.”
OK. I was a firefighter for 10 years. For 25 years I investigated industrial accidents for the UK government.
I have never heard of any fires involving cows. They are mostly made of water, and full of milk. They are notable for their non-flammability.
I can only conclude that this is a result of the United States allowing genetic modification of farm animals, whilst the rest of the world does not.
“Yes, Farmer Jones, these are Monsanto Maxi-Cows. They give four times as much milk as regular cows - but they drink kerosene and fart hydrogen. You might not want to smoke around them”.
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If they can find a way to milk fuel out of them, I would not doubt it.
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I mean, Worms introduced me to exploding sheep, I guess exploding cows are the next logical step?
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Yes, I see No Man’s Sky everywhere!
Part of the teaser for a SciFi novel: “The Visitors have departed, but why did the Glass appear in the first place?”
Yup. “GLASS” caught my eye.
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Bessy the cow is alleged to have started the Great Chicago Fire by kicking over a kerosene lantern.
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But did she blow up?
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No, I was mainly just reacting to @Polyphemus 's statement “I have never heard of any fires involving cows.”
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I would do that. I have to wonder though how ‘dressing up as birds’ plays into chasing away seagulls. The only thing I’ve ever heard of eating a seagull is a shark, so I would think maybe dressing up like sharks would be better…
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