As promised, I have made an attempt at an Attenborough-esque narrative of the life of Porwiggles. For accuracy, I pulled info from all the in-game sources I could find (which is notably few), but hopefully you’ll be able to spot a couple of the references. Also, just a heads-up, I attempted to make it read like an actual nature documentary, and nature documentaries sometimes get a little dark, but I tried to at least leave it off on a more optimistic note.
So, without further ado:
This is New Nitasin, an alluring lush planet that draws crowds of amphibious pilgrims from light-years around to her bustling ports.
But it isn’t her sandy shores, shady palms and gentle sea breezes that make New Nitasin a travel destination for the masses. Rather, it is the abundance of freshwater lagoons that lay further inland.
You see, not every one of these beaked traders can afford the safety and comfort of the Trade Federation’s state-of-the-art spawning facilities, so for many an eloping couple, the shallow ponds of New Nitasin offer an all-natural alternative for a very reasonable price. It is no wonder that these are some of the highest rated spawning pools since Balaron.
These are the Gek, a diverse race of reptile-like bipeds with a culture centered around commerce. Just one of these progenitor couples can lay over five-hundred eggs in a matter of hours, converting the crystal clear water into a viscous, syrupy substance.
In a few days, these eggs will hatch into a cloud of flippery, slippery porwiggles. Often times, the new Gek parents may attempt to stick around to protect and feed their young, but eventually the Trade Lord calls, and the ToilGek must return to work, leaving their young to fend for themselves. And so the porwiggles grow up, perhaps knowing their parents’ identities, but by necessity unable to form any meaningful bonds. Theirs will be a life of competition from the beginning. For them, the spawning pool is the entire world, and with hundreds of siblings to share it with, this world is dreadfully limited on resources. It could almost be considered a kindness, then, that a Xankrath lurks nearby.
[Insert pause for commercial break]
The Xankrath approaches in the dead of night to find yet another spawning pool abandoned by its guardians. It may not be the most formidable creature in the known universe, but to our defenseless porwiggles—who are only just now sprouting their hind legs—this is an unstoppable force of nature.
As the Xankrath wades into the pool, our porwiggles splash their tails and dart away to its left and to its right, squeezing past each other to huddle as close to the pool walls as they can. The Xankrath picks off a few of the the plumpest porwiggles to its left, and with this, it is content to leave. After all, there is no shortage of unattended pools on New Nitasin for it to choose from.
Fortunately for our porwiggles, the next couple of weeks are rather uneventful as they gradually begin to grow their forearms and lose their tails. The bravest ones begin to climb out of the pool to discover that there is a vast world rich with resources beyond their shallow puddle, and an even larger universe to explore beyond that.
They stretch their scent glands for the first time and fill the air with a musky perfume—the smell of curiousity and untold adventures—to encourage their siblings to do the same.